Walking a tightrope, just one cold or stomach virus away from wobbling off.
When I started jillwicklund.com, I wasn’t convinced I was going to focus on working parent advocacy.
Even though I have felt the tension between being an intentional parent and an effective professional for the last ten years.
Even though hundreds of working parents have shared that trying to balance it all is like walking a tightrope, just one cold or stomach virus away from wobbling off.
Even though I see it in my local community, moms and dads rushing around, scrambling, their nervous systems on overdrive.
It wasn't until I got deep into the data. Like, really deep. I just wanted to know. I needed to know. What does the data say?
In just the last 6 months, there is data! Many reputable companies are interviewing and surveying working parents.
So, what does it say? What’s going on with working parents over the last 40 years?
74% of the 23.5 million working women with children under 18 worked full-time in 2023 (30% increase).*
Parents are working more hours than ever. (78% increase for mothers + 4% increase for fathers).**
Time spent weekly on primary child care has increased by 40% among mothers from 1985 to 2022, and by 154% among fathers .Of note, the overall time parents report providing primary child care is only a fraction of the amount of time parents report being with children. Mothers are spending more than stay-at-home moms did 40 years ago.**
The share of U.S. children living with a single parent has been rising, accompanied by a decline in marriage rates and a rise in births outside marriage. The percentage of US children living in single-parent households nearly tripled between 1960 and 2023, increasing from 9% to 25% ********
So if we are all working more and we are all spending more time with our kids, how is it going?
90% of full-time U.S. working moms feel rushed leading to guilt, four-in-ten full-time working moms say they always feel rushed***
On average, 45% of fathers and mothers feel they spend too little time with their children leading to guilt.****
Many women juggle home related tasks during work hours and work during personal time—making them 81% more likely to feel burned out.*****
51% percent of working women in the U.S. report feeling stressed a lot of the day yesterday and 39% of working men do as well.*****
98% of UK women who take parental leave want to return to work full-time. 85% leave full-time positions within three years.******
Yikes.
Next question: how are U.S. structures evolving to support our new working parenthood model?
Answer: They haven’t, much. Subscribe below to learn more.
Why am I sharing this with you?
My hope in sharing this is that if you’re feeling the tension between being in flow at work, stretching your brain in the best ways, while also feeling the relentless intensity of parenting, guilt, and exhaustion, you know you’re not alone.
My second hope is that by naming some of the experiences we face as working parents, these words can become a tool for connection. When we put words to what we feel or notice, it helps others recognize their own experiences, creating a sense of shared understanding and normalcy. In doing so, we’re not just describing reality; we’re beginning to shape it.
kindly,
Jill
*https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2020/05/the-choices-working-mothers-make.html#:~:text=Working%20mothers%20make%20up%20a,mothers%20work%20in%20this%20group.
**https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/parents-under-pressure.pdf
***https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2009/10/01/the-harried-life-of-the-working-mother/
****https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2018/01/08/most-dads-say-they-spend-too-little-time-with-their-children-about-a-quarter-live-apart-from-them/
*****https://www.gallup.com/workplace/653843/program-culture-women-wellbeing-work.aspx
*******https://www.raconteur.net/talent-culture/mothers-return-work-maternity-leave#:~:text=Although%2098%25%20of%20the%20respondents,three%20years%20of%20having%20children.
********https://www.niussp.org/family-and-households/americas-single-parent-households-and-missing-fathers/
